Episode 154 – Henry 8 part 11

We’ll be saying goodbye to Henry’s sister Mary. Don’t worry about her man Charles Brandon, he has his eye on his son’s girlfriend. Our Spanish princess Catherine will also be off to heaven. Anne will manage to get Henry to swap his mistress for one of her supporters so Henry will be all happy in the banging department. Here’s Henry and Catherine from the movie Anne of a thousand days.

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Episode 148 – Thomas More

We’re back with Sir St Tom who will cop the top job as Chancellor. But Tom is more interested in torture and burning people than helping Henry get a divorce. It won’t go well when Henry declares himself to be the head of the church in England. Tom will resign his job but will he settle down to a nice retirement? Here’s Tom and Henry from A Man for all Seasons.

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“A Man for All Seasons” starred Paul Scofield (right) as Sir Thomas More and Robert Shaw (left) as King Henry VIII. The film won six Academy Awards® including Best Picture. Restored by Nick & jane for Dr. Macro’s High Quality Movie Scans Website: http:www.doctormacro.com. Enjoy!

 

Episode 147 – Henry 8 part 10

Henry’s top advisor Tom Wolsey is dead, but fear not – he still has Sir St Tom More and there’s the new boy Tom cromwell. Another Tom – Boleyn is off to see the pope and the emperor to sort things out. Bonus for Henry is that universities all over the place will agree he should have his divorce but Pope Clement won’t be having it. Here’s our disgraced Cardinal Wolsey wondering where it all went wrong.

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Episode 142 Henry 8 – part 9

We might manage to get through a whole 6 weeks of the life of King Henry and Queen Catharine. It’s the messy divorce trial and Henry will be a bit of a dick. But it’s about yet another character in this sorry little tale. The other, other Boleyn girl Jane Parker AKA Jane Boleyn AKA Lady Rochford. Here’s a picture of the Wolf Hall Jane Boleyn. Does she look a bit nasty? She’s supposed to.

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Episode 137 – The Reformation part 4

We’re having problems working out the one is three and three is one thingy with some people wanting it just to be three and others wanting to be one. Martin decides that the magic trick with the bread is real before turning his attention to Muslims and Jews. Meanwhile, Munster is taken over by polygamist Anabaptists. Won’t end well for them as this picture from the German movie Konig der letzten Tage shows.

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Episode 135 – The Reformation Part 3

The Reformation will splinter because of the whole bread and red thing. We just can’t agree on it. The Peasants will revolt and that will go the usual way a peasants revolt goes – badly. On the plus side, celibacy will be out the door and into the garbage. The emperor will call a conference to see if we can’t all play nicely together. We can’t. Here’s a picture of Luther responding to the Catholics ordering his books to be burnt. You burn mine and I’ll burn yours is the message. Nice for the printing businesses.

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Episode 133 – The Reformation part 2

We’ll get Martin Luther safely away from the Diet of Worms. Then we find other people wanting to do their own version of the reformation. Enter the Anabaptists. Monks can start giving up their Monkey lives to become good productive members of society but on the downside, students will start leaving the universities. Are we going backwards? Here’s a picture of ex Monk Martin and his ex Nun Missus.

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Episode 132 – Henry 8 Part 5

In which our hero Henry will be sucked into sending cash to Mad Max with no return. Tom Wolsey will become a big swinging dick and there will be a secret romance with wedding bells a dinging for Charles Brandon and Dowager Queen Mary, Henry’s sister. And we have descriptions of Queen Catherine that are not terribly flattering at all. Plus we’ll get to meet Princess Mary.

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Episode 131 – The Reformation

Things are happening in Germany and we’ll kick off by looking at our man Erasmus first. One thing we’ll find pretty quickly is that our reformers will embrace the new technology – the printing press. They will invent the Graphic Theological Novel, marvellous stuff. Here’s one – on the left we have baby Jesus booting out the money lenders and on the right we have the greedy Pope selling indulgences.

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Episode 130 – Henry 8 part 4

It’s a bit of a girly episode this week. Let’s see – Queen Anne of France is off to heaven – Queen Margaret of Scotland is off to get a bit of hunky Archie Douglas – Princess Mary will be dumped by Supersausage Chuck but then for for big daddy Louis of France on the rebound and will be the new Queen of France and that may be a bit much for big daddy’s heart. Still he will die with a smile on his face. And finally poor old Queen Catherine will see the end of sexy priest who will be booted out of England. Sad.

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Episode 125 – Henry 8 part 2

Margaret Beaufort will be saying goodbye to us after eating a dodgy baby swan. Catherine will be up the spout then sort of not up the spout – it’s all a bit of a mystery but we will get a son in the end. Henry’s into the fun and games of tournaments. Big daddy Louis of France will go rogue on the Pope. Here’s pictures of our 3 Toms – Wolsey, Cromwell and Tom. All good buddies of our king Henry 8 until they aren’t anymore.

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Episode 123 – Henry 7 part 9

Leaving our cheery tale will be Duke Phil and sadly Henry himself. Still that will allow those fun loving teens Henry 8 and Catherine of Aragon to get it on. Over in Spain, the heir to Castile, Juana will find herself in a convent thanks to dad Ferdinand. But it’s time for us to get Henry 8’s backstory. Here’s a nice picture of dead Henry 7 and the lovely Betty of York his missus.

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Episode 122 – Henry 7 part 8

It’s all about trying to get those crazy kids Hazza and Kat into the cot to get busy in the making an heir business. The path to true love never runs smoothly until the gold is delivered seems to be the lesson for us. Sad to say that Duke Phil John Legend won’t be surviving this episode leaving Juana as a very wealthy widow. King Henry may like a bit of that. Here’s Phil and Juanna during their visit to England.

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Episode 120 – Money 2

1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue and before you know it we’ve met new friends to subjugate so we can steal their stuff. This will make Europeans rather wealthy so they can belt each other up even more while they create their empires. Here’s a diagram of a ship illustrating the efficiencies of capitalism by packing in humans nice and tight to transport them to their new lives of hard labour. It also nicely illustrates the lack of any sort of empathy that capitalism thrives on.

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Episode 119 – Henry 7 part 7

Arthur’s dead leaving our Spanish Princess somewhat in limbo. Poor little Princess Margaret will have to head north to dad killer king Jim 4 of the Scotties. Isabella and Ferdinand will get the Spanish Inquisition underway. Usual fun and hi jinks. Here’s a picture of Catherine with Isabella up in the Spanish mountains ready for some Muslim bashing when Catherine should really be on her way to England.

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Episode 117 – Henry 7 part 6

Time to meet some Toms because we’ll end up with half a dozen of the buggers in a few episodes time. We’ll also meet a Portugese Jewish murderer who will make good. The de la Pole’s will be getting out of town but the sad news is that Queen Betty may be saying goodbye to us forever in this episode. Here’s a picture of Henry and Betty from the Spanish Princess. Does she look a bit poorly to you?

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Episode 114 – Henry 7 part 3

Mixed bag this week. Toothless mighty hero Sir Ted Woodville will be going down when the Frenchies massacre our brave English boys. Sadly for us, that means Happy Chuck can marry Duchess Anne of Brittany and take Brittany making France great again. Henry will find out just how much we all love paying tax so it will be rebellion. Here’s a picture from a Frenchie waxworks museum of Happy Chuck marrying Anne of Brittany.

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Episode 61 – Edward 2 part 5

Roger is out of the slammer and is in France. Junior has to pay homage to the new Frenchie king for Gascony. He can’t go himself – if he does Hugh Despenser will be toast and he can’t take Hugh because Hugh isn’t welcome in France. What will he do? Surely he won’t send Isabel and Baby Ted – that would be stupid and Junior isn’t stupid. Forget that – he is stupid.

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Episode 40 – Richard and the 3rd Crusade

It’s all been building to this – the big smackdown Dick vs Saladin. Will our brave Dick unite the Christian world to take back the middle east? Here’s the map of Western Frankia with modern day France for comparison. All that pink stuff is under Dicks control. Brittany is shown as pink-ish because it’s in family hands.

 

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Episode 35 – Henry and William Marshall

Thanks to a Frenchie scholar a book was located in the 19th Century describing the life of a knight William Marshall. Bill will be with us for a while so let’s get the back story on this guy as well as update the lovely Eleanor and her baby boys.

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Episode 32 – The 2nd Crusade

Wahoo! We’re back on crusades with the kid, Conrad the german and a big bunch of hard men. We get to meet Uncle Raysy and the young blonde god Bohemond 2. If that isn’t enough we’ve got assassins. Brilliant. Here’s a picture of Raysy meeting the kid – but where’s Eleanor?

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Episode 18 The Side Quest Special

This episode will keep us on track with the daring adventures of Harald Hardrada and Billy the Bastard. These guys will be popping into our series soon so best to know what we are dealing with. And as a special bonus we have a look at Macbeth, both the genuine article and the Shakespeare fake news version.

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Harald the Hardman

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